More or Less

• Post By: Greg Crumpton
• Date: March 5, 2019
• Category: Blog
• Tags: #LifeLongLearning, Communication, greg crumpton, Technology

Inbox me, ping me, message me, drop me a note, etc … Do you recall a time in your life that there were so many ways to contact someone? I doubt it.

With the advent of, and now our total immersion in technology, think of all the ways, just within your phone, laptop, or device of your choosing, to “reach out” to someone, hell anyone.

Those of you who know me on a personal level know that I proclaim myself a “Technology Enthusiast“, and that is totally true. The amount of speed and efficiency that comes with these digital vox’s is just tremendous. We have only just started down the path of technology enhanced communication. That’s my opinion and probably another blog post for another day.

But, are we missing something?
Yes.

Over the last few months I have met with many, many people. I try to really make sure that I meet people one-on-one, live and in-person whenever it makes sense. It’s so much better to me than a digital conversation. No, I am not being old school, I just find it better when I sit with someone versus using the other methods of communication. Now don’t misunderstand me, I am not going to fly to Toronto just for a cup of coffee at a small, quaint shop, but you can rest assured that when I am anywhere near there, without a doubt I am calling my friend Denis to see if we can sit and chat for a bit.

You may be thinking, “OK, great… what’s the point?”

My point is this; having “quasi interviewed” a few dozen people, meaning I asked them, if meeting one-on-one was the way they preferred to stay connected and/or meet new people, they said yes.

Crazy as it sounds, given all the means possible to “chat”, people still like to sit together and have a verbal conversation. It flies in the face of everything I hear. As I meander through my days, I ask people for their take on my hunch. Do people like to sit and chat or do they prefer to use a digital device? I am 54 years old, so maybe it’s just us baby boomers who like it, yeah, that must be it. But wait! My 24 year old friend Courtney likes it. We met a couple of weeks ago and did just that, chatted and got caught up on her life and career. OK, then maybe it’s those often-discussed Millennials we are always hearing about. Nope, I have enjoyed many cups of coffee and other beverages with my friend Hilt, she happens to be age appropriate for the millennial slot. Well, I then wander over to my well-seasoned friend who happens to fall into the silent generation age group, yep, he likes it too.

Now, the big question blossoms in my head. If we all like sitting and talking so much, why the heck aren’t we doing it more? You know the answer already. We simply don’t have time to do it. Or do we?

Several years ago I read a book by Daniel Kahneman entitled, Thinking Fast & Slow, a great book on how our brains are wired to work. As I read the book, it really taught me a lesson about how I have always gone about business, even though I was unaware at the time I was doing it. I am right hand dominant, my left hand is more of a meat-hook, but yet it is plenty functional for the non-dexterity required tasks of life. When I have a series of task, I find that I am working Fast & Slow … the left hand (the meat-hook) is doing the fast work that doesn’t require a ton of finesse, more like being at a buffet, just scraping, filling the plate and moving on. Then, the more elegant (maybe a stretch if you do know me) right hand. I am thinking calligraphy, thinking Picasso, thinking neuro-surgeon. Skill, laser focus, precision… working slowly towards excellence.

How does that play into having a cup of coffee you may wonder? In my view, it has a ton to do with it. Think of your relationships, the existing ones, the new ones you are trying to foster, the old ones, the broken ones.

How can you make time to get out and make these connections happen, develop or maybe even mend a broken one? Prioritization will win this battle. My little 5-foot-tall, weighing next-to-nothing, sized mother had a saying. She said, “People will always do want they really want to do”. My wife and I fall back on this truism from time to time when we are wondering why people do or don’t do certain things.

So back to the buffet versus artists’ analogy, some relationships are doable from the left-handed, meat hook view. Depending on the purpose of the relationship, you must decide how much effort to put into it. Others however really need a gentle stroke, better said, “deserve a gentle stroke”. That cup of coffee or that bowl of soup and half of a sandwich could change lives’. Theirs, yours, who really knows?

Will you make time to do it or will you say, “I am just too busy”. We all have the same 24 hours every day. Spend your time as you will, but know that those times that you can commit and meet someone, one on one, those moments together are special. You may not know it or see it initially, but if there is a connection, it can last a lifetime.

Until next time, stay enfolded in the now.

G